Tiger mom I am not

Grace quit swim. And then she cried. Last year she wanted to be on the swim team so we signed her up and all went well. Summer came and we had a busy summer planned and I didn't want to pay $80 a month when I knew she'd only make it a few days here and there so we took a break, and then the team took an August break and then we started back up.

In August however she decided she hates it and that it hurts her leg/foot/toes. Meanwhile in a seemingly unrelated topic Grace wants a bird. It is the ONLY THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD that she wants and if she gets one she will never want for anything again. 

Wait you say, didn't she say that about a cat not too long ago....and didn't she indeed get a cat??? And now she wants something else? 

So I thought I'd help sweeten the pot a little bit because I really do think swimming is a great sport, and she's a natural, and life long habits of good health would be awesome to start now, so I said "Grace if you swim from now until Christmas you can get a bird. 3 days a week at least, no complaints."

She agreed. 

But then every time she cries and complains and refuses to go. I remind her of our agreement, persuade her, cajole her, cheerleader her on. It is a huge pain. Frankly a daily drive to the pool and the subsequent wait there is not hugely convenient either but that part I don't mind. It's the crying and carrying on and hiding in the locker room.

So yesterday after I picked her up from robotics I said hurry and get ready for swim. And she cried and complained and laid on the couch. So I said "fine. Don't go. You can be done with swim team." Then she cried for a long time and said, " but then I don't get a bird! It's so unfair!"

And I said "yes."

the only thing in the world she would ever ask for

Here she is studying with Percy yesterday morning.

ditto

And here she is recreating with Peanut in the evening. (Not pictured Petunia swimming in her tank happily next to the bed, or Ziva who just got kicked out of the room for trying to make a snack out of Peanut.)

I would like to be one of those moms that really, really pushes her kids to excel at something. But I just don't have it in me.

I do have some helicopter mom tendencies however, and really worry when the kids are out of sight. Example a) from yesterday: Ethan wanted to go with some friends to the park to play soccer. I said yes and drove him there. He arranged to get a ride home with Sam. 

Let me set the scene; the park is 3 miles from our house. In an emergency I suppose he could walk home. It was 5:30 in the afternoon, 3 hrs before dark. There were no fewer than 5 teams practicing at the park including two teams of baby soccer players which means all their parents sitting on lawn chairs watching and their siblings flooding the playground. There were multiple soccer moms doing laps around the park enjoying their evening walks/runs. He is 14. His friends are 14. There were 10 of them....who would want to kidnap 10 stinky, sweaty 14 year old boys? The park is in the middle of a nice residential neighborhood and shares the property with the middle school. And last but not least I WANT him to go outside and play with friends. I worry when he doesn't. Too much electronics? Not enough friends? Cyber predators? Will he grow up and only know how to grunt and never move out and we will have to build a basement for him?? 

Yet the whole time he was gone I was worried and was thinking about driving around the school just to check on things and when he arrived home safely (I know surprise ending right) I breathed a sigh of relief.

Example b)...