Monday, January 2, 2017

it's a new year

New Years always bring with it a feeling of starting again, making changes, being better. 2016 was a good year for me personally; not globally, not for our country, not every day.  Okay it was just okay.  Lots of good highlights though.  Lots more time for family than in the past, which I love.  That was the good good part.  I love being able to see my sisters and brothers and my grown children and my grand kids and my parents and in`laws.  Family is really the greatest source of joy.  As I am older I really appreciate more the time with my children at home too.  Hannah is on the countdown until college and it is so bittersweet.  I love her company.  We have fun together, we enjoy talking and doing stuff, we know each other's habits and are comfortable.  Moving here has made us closer because she has not replaced her strong friend group with one here.  She definitely has friends, and Sawyer but it's not the same.  I am sad to see that.  I am excited for her to go to BYU, which ever one she ends up choosing, and really making a ton of fun friends and having stuff to do a lot.  I want her here with me selfishly, but I want her to have that full, fun, busy, friend-filled, life more. This is the hard part of parenting.  The letting go and the kind of empty feeling when they are off doing their own thing & the saddness when things are a struggle, friends are wished for, etc.

Our weekend was fine.  Mostly uneventful.  The girls and Marshall left early Saturday morning.  I spent the whole day taking down Christmas.  I love that. I love to put it up and I love the cleaned up emptiness of everything down.  

We didn't do much to ring out the old year.  We went out for gelato.  Ethan and Dad watched a lot of football, which they love to do. Grace and I got in bed around 9 and watched Harry Potter until we fell asleep, I woke up before Midnight and stayed up with Rob to see the clock strike 12.  Frankly it's a dumb holiday and my least favorite one but that's the grouchy grinch old lady part of me talking.  Grace was disappointed that we didn't have a party so next year I will have to do better.

Sunday was church at a new time.  Our new theme this year is awesome!

Our meetings were really good. I love to go and hear talks that make me think, that are doctrine deep, which they were.  With a lay ministry you get what you get.  Some talks are awesome.  Others are just so so.  Yesterday's talks were great.  Ron Ercek spoke and one thing he said was while on his mission, in a little town in Indiana he met with some ministers from another faith.  They were hosting a weekly anti Mormon class with their people and had invited the missionaries to chat with them (not the congregation of course).  They asked the elders what they were teaching "their people".  The elders answered "we are teaching them Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, obedience to His commandments, the importance of baptism by immersion, repentance, and making and keeping covenants with God. " They then talked about the atonement and resurrection.  The minister(s) asked what we believed about the garden of Gethsemane. They (the other faith) believe that while in the garden Christ was deciding if he wanted to go thru with the crucifixion. We know that while in the garden Christ suffered for the sins of all mankind. Imagine not knowing that?  
The next speaker spoke about the atonement as well.  He posed the question "how did Satan, while in the presence of Heavenly Father, persuade 1/3 of the hosts of heaven not to follow God's plan?"  It is a crazy thought.  Then he suggested that they didn't really want to be forced to obey, they just didn't believe that Christ could/would be able to pay the price for us and/or that they could have the faith/obedience to follow Him.  

Later during Sunday School I had a personal aha moment of understanding on an issue that has long bothered me.  

I love that the Holy Ghost can teach and testify to us, especially when we are in the right places, doing the right things and searching for those answers.

One of my resolutions for the year is to do all I can to teach the young women that.  To help them feel strong and valiant. To not be lame (me, not them :) ). 

Last night we were supposed to go to Pasadena with our friends and wait to see the Rose Parade.  We ended up not going because the kids REALLY.DID.NOT.WANT.TO.  They can be such sticks in the mud.  It's a struggle to get them (mostly Ethan) out of the house.  He really bargained hard to stay home and then played his "long saved card" the Eagle scout. He said he was waiting until it was really important and this was it.  "Ethan, good news we get to go sit outside in the cold over night to watch a parade."  "Mom, I'll finish my eagle this month if we don't have to."......okay.  I was bummed, because a) I have wanted to see it. b) I wanted to hang out with Ramona.  I watched this morning and it looked like fun.  Maybe one year.

Then in other news today was the day we could book our beach vacation.  Andrea and I were both on the minute it was open and both didnt' get it.  It's crazy.  How does a whole state shoreline book up for a whole month in 1 hr?  It literally took 2 hours of trying different things and we still aren't sure what we are doing.   I have a couple locations booked with the intent of cancelling the ones I don't want.  We have sites at Pismo beach near Val and Andrea and sites a little more apart at El Capitan.  El Cap is closer and nicer.  Decisions by committee are always hard and we had a little Christmastime disagreement/misunderstanding/unpleasantness so everyone is being careful which makes it even harder.  The bottom line is I love my sisters a lot. So we will figure it out.  Mortality is tough.  Even if some of the problems are first world.  The angst and frustration and doubts and disappointments are still very real.  


This year I resolve to lose the 30 lbs I lost and then found last year...and keep them lost.  Sad.
I also want to come to terms with living in CA again.  It's been a struggle all this time.  I keep reminding myself of the good things a) close(r) to family, b) Rob's great job, c) pleasant winter weather (sort of).  I keep trying to be a good sport, easy going, happy natured, looker on the bright side but I still kind of hate it here.

Also I want to read the Book of Mormon at least twice.

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