every night we have a bedtime battle. every night.
It's not with Lucy, she goes to bed nicely. And early. I go upstairs with her and we brush her teeth and jammie up then she gets a story and songs and usually goes right to sleep. She sometimes looks at books by herself in the semi-dark and now that she can read that part is getting longer but still she's pretty easy and in the morning she is always up bright and early ready for the day.
Ethan gets put to bed. Sometimes he then jumps around on the bed and in his room (literally) and then gets tucked again. Then he reads. Then 2 hours later when he is done reading he pops up and we have to tuck him in again. He usually stays at that point, unless he wanders in later in the night because of a) a bad dream, b) he has to pee, c) he is moaning and groaning and needs to throw up (we don't know why but he he does this often). In the morning he doesn't get up on his own, unless it is a weekend, but he does get up when I get him.
Hannah is the nightmare. She gets sent to bed and will not go. We tell her, we ask her, we walk her up, we tell her again, we yell at her, we threaten her, we .... finally she goes up and reads. We turn off the light, she turns it on, we turn it off, she turns it on. In the morning I go wake her up. She won't get up. I pull off the covers. She puts them back, I get in her bed and tickle her, rub her back, tell her to get up, encourage her and then put my feet on her buns and launch her. She hops back in. I get mad. I tell her I will think of the most horrible punishment ever if she doesn't get up. She laughs and gets up.
I really want to stream line this process.
Here's my plan.
At night I say "time for bed, sweetheart and give her a kiss" she goes to bed.
In the morning I say "time to get up" while I turn on her light and she gets up.
How about we try that???
I learned from a mom of four, two of whom are incredibly disabled and have special needs, that there are three things kids feel like they can control: bowel movements, food, and sleep. Her oldest daughter was being treated for borderline anorexia because it was one of the few things she could control, but they also struggle with sleep with her. This could be totally off the mark, but maybe this is just H trying to have some sort of her own control over her chaotic emotions? Something to think about.... Sorry! I wish I were a child psychologist and could help you out more. :/
ReplyDeletegood luck with that plan and let me know how it goes :) I am lucky, I guess. My kids don't fight going to bed too much (my Middle is about the same age as H)- and she is good about getting up and functioning- my others get up- but the functional level is sometimes slower-
ReplyDeleteI would maybe only suggest some sort of reward system- like a special treat of some sort for every 5 days (or so) of going to bed on time with lights off- then after that goes on for a while, add in getting up-
I would also wonder about why she is fighting it- if it is a control thing or if she has bad dreams or something like that-
LOL! I was a lot like Hannah growing up! I still hate getting up in the morning... and I love to stay up late.
ReplyDeleteI hated HATED getting up in the morning when I was a kid. I also STILL hate waking up in the morning!
ReplyDeleteI know I am lucky... Haylee usually goes to bed good but she hates being woke up. Will usually do it and be happy though after the 500th time of me rubbing on her... Hope you plan works... in the mean time I'll send you love and good vibes from Texas!
Isn't it amazing how they are all so different ;
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