unwelcome time to think

3am.  I am well acquainted with you, although I am never happy to see you.  Being awake at this time is somewhat unusual for me.  It is almost always under less than desirable circumstances that I find myself in your company.  Illness, crisis, worry.  Sometimes a new baby.  Occasionally something fun.  Sometimes waiting on someone to come home, or land safely. Sometimes cleaning up an unexpected mess.
This morning I am kept awake by my thoughts,  I try to shoo them from my brain and tell myself to sleep since we have another travel day tomorrow but for whatever reason they will not be quieted.

I'm thinking about our houses.  One we want to sell, one that we need to move into.  What should I do to help it along?  We are praying earnestly.  I know several friends are praying with us.  I believe in prayer with all my heart...I also believe we need to do everything in our power to help those prayers along.

I'm thinking of youth conference, next week.  Of course I don't have anything to do for it as I am calling-less.  But I still am thinking about it, hoping it will be awesome, wondering if everything is ready.

I am thinking of all we are leaving behind.  We've left before.  Moving is an adventure, I know this, but I'm having a hard time mustering up any excitement.  I don't want to leave.

I am thinking of my body, and the quorum of the 12.  Those men are old, but they are spry and look usually 2 decades younger than they actually are.  Am I on that path?  Nope.  I need to diet, exercise, do all that i can so that I can be useful well into my 80's or 90's. Gastric bypass?? Probably a little drastic but something.

I am thinking about my sister Emily and her new baby boy Malachi.  I wish I could hold him while he's fresh and new.  Then I am thinking about my own babies.  Hannah, whose back is pressed against mine as we share a hotel room bed.  She's almost 16 and in two short years she'll be off to college.  It goes so fast, too fast (insert ABBA lyrics to "slipping through my fingers") The other two quick at her heels.

Thinking about Ireland and Italy.

Wondering how we'll be asked to serve in CA.

Thinking about the kids activities.  Girl scouts? piano lessons? swim team? horses? soccer? acting? culinary?

Maybe I should join a gym......

Thinking about the temple.  There are things I ponder from time to time.  Things I try to unravel and understand in my head. Things I replay and try to learn from.

Summer goes by fast.

Thinking about grand babies, how can I be there for them.

Thinking about grown children.

Thinking about ageing parents.

Thinking about Rob

.... too much thinking.