thoughts

Through out the day, every day, I often think of the Savior.  I think about His life and ministry.  I think of His greatness and my gratitude to Him.  I also think of those who have followed Him and what I can learn from their lives.
Yesterday my thoughts turned to Peter, as they do from time to time, this great apostle with his boundless exuberance and sometimes faltering faith is a favorite of mine. I love his example of discipleship and part of the reason I like him so much is he makes discipleship feel possible.
When Peter hears the Lord call him he comes. He drops his nets and leaves behind his former life and follows the Savior. When the Lord bids him "come" he steps out of the boat and begins to walk on the water. When He asks him to watch with Him he begins the night awake.
Sometimes he falters, he loses his faith and lets fear sink him into the water. He lets his human impulses choose his actions as we see him asleep or sword in hand chopping off an ear, or afraid.
Despite this he continues to follow.  He continues to learn and grow and soon (although I am sure not soon enough for him)  he is Peter, the Rock.
What a tremendous example to us.  We can come, we will fail, but we can rally and try again...and again....and again.  Maybe someday we too I too will be a rock, but if not the Lord still reaches out His hand to us, in His infinite grace and love He continues to beseech us to follow Him.  He loves us and saves us and teaches us.  What a Christmas miracle that is!

And in another note, there is sadness.  Kathy, Clayton's mom, is nearing the end of her battle with gliblastoma (brain cancer).  She was diagnosed this fall and the progress of the disease has been swift.  She is now in the ICU, in a coma, and her family is with her.  I am not sad for her, because while I know there are things in this life she would have liked to stick around for, she will be happy and at peace and useful.  I know this for sure.  I am terribly sad for those left behind to miss her.  Her husband and children.  Her grandchildren.  Her friends. We didn't know each other very long but I liked her right away.  Our children married each other, and we will share grandchildren and family ties forever. I will miss her.  I am sad for my Jenna.  I have been so blessed withe the most wonderful mother's in law.  Joyce is the nicest person on the planet.  Helpful and smart, kind and selfless.  She has helped me and loved me in ways that will forever be treasured by me, and with a generosity and love that I can never repay.  Susan likewise is a dear friend to me.  She is a wonderful grandmother, smart, concerned about others, helpful and giving. We enjoy each others company and I admire so many of her talents and characteristics.  Jenna will not have that relationship and that's too bad. Also I can not say enough about grandmothers and how special and wonderful that relationship is.  Poor future babies Johnson will only have me.
Well, life is not fair.  And really thank goodness it's not or Christ wouldn't have suffered for our sins, we would have had to do that ourselves. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, one that is perfectly suited to help us return to Him.  His plan for Kathy is to return home sooner.  His plan for her family is to carry on without her. Maybe his plan for me is to step up a little, who knows?  I hope the end is peaceful for everyone.

Kathy and her grandson David

Update: Kathy passed away. Her family was all with her. I am sure she is happy
tonight. She will be missed.