study

It should be easy for me to study the scriptures.  I am home during the day and I love the gospel and often have talks about it, give talks about it, listen to talks about it and read it.  But to study is different and though I wish I did it well so far I have not.  I'm not a thinker really.  Once maybe I was but no longer.  I suffer from a brain cloud :) Rob is a thinker.  He has questions and seeks the answers.  This is a wonderful quality.  

It's easy to compare yourself and your spouse.  The temptation, right as I write this is that in the moment I say he is better at some particular thing than me is to say but I am better at .... and to value my strength more than his. Or sometimes the temptation is to feel discouraged because I will never be as good as __________.But I will stop that train of thought with out further elaboration.  Either path is very dangerous.  Feeling not good enough is one of Satan's great tools to thwart our progress by having us be too discouraged to try.  If that doesn't work he just lets us feel superior so we feel we don't have to try.  Sneaky sneaky.  My friend Amy told me that a good marriage take a good deal of mutual tolerance.  I laughed but it's so true.  Humans are so flawed and when you live with someone you see those things, and you live with yourself 24/7 so you see it in yourself as well.  We have to make a lot of room for growth in our hearts for ourselves and our loved ones.  At the same time we should be able to recognize and appreciate the great qualities we see without feeling jealous or defensive or like it's a competition. People are so silly.  

So, I have been searching for a study method and found an easy outline, 45 days to draw closer to the Savior.  It gives a quote and some verses and you read and think about it.  Easy peasy.  Today I did day 1.  It was lovely.  I thought of how much He went through to really know us.  Two of my brothers in law have been having some significant health problems.  Yoho, of course, with his cancer.  My thoughts have been very much with him and Andrea.  It comforts me to know that they know Christ and that He in return knows them very intimately and  knows Yoho's struggle and pain, emotional and physical, and that He can ease their pain and suffering. 

Ryan, who had surgery over 2 weeks ago to replace his ACL, and who should have been well on his way to recovery now has had set back after set back. Unexpected and frustrating as it has been he too follows the Savior and knows Him and loves Him and is held in the hollow of His hand.  What a blessing that we have someone to walk with us through the trials and challenges of life. 

My great friend and counselor, Tara, went to the temple yesterday.  She called me on her way home and we were talking about her visit there.  At the end of our chat I said to her that she should have told me she was going and I would have happily gone with her, I would have, in fact, welcomed the opportunity. She replied that she had thought about it and at the last minute decided to "be a big girl" and go alone, but she then added, we are never really alone at the temple.  Which is true.  We don't have to be alone ever if we are yoked with Christ.  Interestingly there were 4-5 other sisters from our stake there at the same time, all from different wards, none had planned or traveled together.  Yet they met and embraced and enjoyed being together with friends.  In the temple if I ever run into someone I know and love I always think of the glorious reunion we have to look forward to in the Kingdom of Heaven.  I am sure it will be the same happy feeling, the same smiles of recognition, the same joyful, loving embrace.  "You're here! Good to see you!! I'm glad we are together".