always on my toes

Monday was the perfect example of the extremes our days go to with our little Lu.  In the morning I met with a counselor.  We've had her on a waiting list for over 6 months and finally got in.  It was a history taking, concern sharing time. Next week Lu will get to visit with her.  The discussion we had was about a little girl who is extremely defiant and unconcerned about how others feel or how they think about her.  One who is often sad, or angry and doesn't know what to do with those feelings.  Who throws screaming kicking fits and says mean and inappropriate things. This Lu causes us great concern.  We have spent  a lot of our energy of the last couple of years trying to help her and teach her and have not had a lot of success.  There is another Lu that shows up from time to time.  This one is sweet and engaged and a delight to have around.  Both are the same little girl, we'd like to see the sweet side a lot more often.  Grace is really smart, and she is talented in many things.  We love her very much and want her to be happy and healthy.  She is a wonderful student and she is funny.  We, and she, need the tools to make sure that side of her grows and develops and the ornery side, the troubled side, get's it's needs met and grows quiet.
After my meeting I called Rob and we talked about her and our plan (again...this is a not a new conversation) It is exhausting and discouraging.
Then came Monday afternoon, our favorite of the week because we get to go out to the farm and Lu rides.  It is so gorgeous and peaceful on Bobby's farm.  I LOVE to walk around and say hi to the horses while she has her lesson.  It is exactly the setting I imagined in my girlhood dreams when I thought of the perfect place.  Grace loves it and is excited and cooperative and happy there.
Extremes.

She makes me laugh...really, because I never know what we're going to get.  One morning this week she woke up pretty early and we brought a game onto my bed and played it before showers and breakfast and all that.  We laughed and even though I won she wasn't upset.  Our morning was so nice, no complaining and off she went.  Another morning this week her clothes were itchy, her shoes were stupid, she didn't like cello and hated her lunch, breakfast was icky and she refused to get in the shower, then refused to get out.  By the time she caught the bus I was ready for a nap.

Another extreme is with music.  She really wanted to take cello.  She NEVER practices.  Ne-ver.  She says she is doing well at school and it's too easy and she wants to take private lessons.  We said she could IF she practiced first. In contrast all the 3rd grade learns the recorder.  Lu loves the recorder.  She came home on the first day of recorder lessons and took her music and learned all the pieces for the year and memorized them.  She is really good, she taught herself last year to play by ear and this year is learning how to read recorder music and already is doing really well.  She plays non stop.  This makes me think we should bag the cello and next year when she can start a band instrument get her on the clarinet or some other recorder like instrument.

Well to be fair, I am happy to report that we have had some progress and even the last couple of months have been better...I am sure she will grow up and be a delightful, accomplished, kind, happy young woman. And Rob and I, we will be gray and old and happy that we had 6 children (and not 7 because that would have been too much :) )