Lu and I made dessert. We made really cute shredded wheat nests and cupcakes. We also made a ham and a salad. Everyone brought food and it was all especially yummy!
Dad taught a nice lesson on the atonement and then the dads hid eggs.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Easter FHE
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Saturday
The girls rode the merry go round and we walked through the Smithsonian Castle and the Natural History Museum while we waited for M & J.
I had a good 60+ pictures to choose from but only selected a few :)
After our visit we headed home, stopped at TCBY for froyo, the men went to Priesthood, I had a meeting and Grandma stayed home to read stories with Lu, cook with H and chat with E.
What a fun day!
Friday, March 30, 2012
the visit
Everyone was excited to greet them and we had a happy round of hugs and kisses and lots of chatting when everyone got home.
Thursday Dad and I took Millie to Calvert Cliffs for a nice hike. We did the red trail down to the beach and Millie jumped in every puddle, stream, beaver dam, marshy swamp and beach we came upon. She chased squirrels and birds and basically had the best doggie time ever. Dad and I had fun walking and talking too.
When we got back we went to lunch with Mom and then came home and prepared dinner for the missionaries. Finally we ended the day with a trip to the movies. Many couples in our ward were going and it was fun to see everyone there. We saw "hunger games". I really liked the books and the movie was okay but dark and I hated the cinematography. It was a shaky disorienting film. Not my fav.
This morning I was tired (that's what we get for staying out late and playing on a school night) but we took Millie on another walk anyway, went to walmart for our weekly groceries and had a fun day. Tonight R and E went to see "wrath of the titans" with Pete and Joey, the rest of us stayed home and made popcorn and watched "hop". Both groups liked their movies.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
pi day
Every year at work the engineers celebrate pi day (surprise). This year they got to pay $$ to throw pies at their bosses faces. This cute boss got in the pool....
Monday, March 26, 2012
I'm a loser too...or trying to be
My good and wise friend Alison, who has one of the happiest marriages I know, posted this on her blog. I loved it so much that I had to post it on mine too. Marriage is a lot of hard work and it's not work I am particularly good at..but I keep trying and my husband is patient with my efforts. With one married daughter, who I would wish to be a good example to but who really is a great example to me instead, and with two more daughters old enough to be married and in the "picking" stage of life I think this timely advice is imperative. If I couldn't write it and can barely live it the least I can do is to whole heartedly endorse it.
Marriage Is For Losers
March 2, 2012 by drkellyflanagan
You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick. I can’t remember who told me that, but I do remember that they were only half-joking. The other half, the serious half, is exceedingly important. This is why.
Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy. Why? Maybe I enjoy the work because I keep one simple principle in mind: if marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most, and it needs to be a race that goes down to the wire.
When it comes to winning and losing, I think there are three kinds of marriages. In the first kind of marriage, both spouses are competing to win, and it’s a duel to the death. Husbands and wives are armed with a vast arsenal, ranging from fists, to words, to silence. These are the marriages that destroy. Spouses destroy each other, and, in the process, they destroy the peace of their children. In fact, the destruction is so complete that research tells us it is better for children to have divorced parents than warring parents. These marriages account for most of the fifty percent of marriages that fail, and then some. The second kind of marriage is ripe with winning and losing, but the roles are set, and the loser is always the same spouse. These are the truly abusive marriages, the ones in which one spouse dominates, the other submits, and in the process, both husband and wife are stripped of their dignity. These are the marriages of addicts and enablers, tyrants and slaves, and they may be the saddest marriages of all.
But there is a third kind of marriage. The third kind of marriage is not perfect, not even close. But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves. In these marriages, losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most. The marriage becomes a competition to see who can change in ways that are most healing to the other, to see who can give of themselves in ways that most increase the dignity and strength of the other. These marriages form people who can be small and humble and merciful and loving and peaceful.
And they are revolutionary, in the purest sense of the word.
Because we live in a culture in which losing is the enemy (except in Chicago, where Cubs fans have made it a way of life). We wake up to news stories about domestic disputes gone wrong. Really wrong. We go to workplaces where everyone is battling for the boss’s favor and the next promotion, or we stay at home where the battle for the Legos is just as fierce. Nightly, we watch the talking heads on the cable news networks, trying to win the battle of ideas, although sometimes they seem quite willing to settle for winning the battle of decibels. We fight to have the best stuff, in the best name brands, and when we finally look at each other at the end of the day, we fight, because we are trained to do nothing else. And, usually, we have been trained well. In the worst of cases, we grew up fighting for our very survival, both physically and emotionally. But even in the best of situations, we found ourselves trying to win the competition for our parents’ attention and approval, for our peers’ acceptance, and for the validating stamp of a world with one message: win. And, so, cultivating a marriage in which losing is the mutual norm becomes a radically counter-cultural act. To sit in the marital therapy room is to foment a rebellion.
In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution. It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It’s finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you’re right and they are wrong. It’s doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too—and loving them to the end anyway.
Maybe marriage, when it’s lived by two losers in a household culture of mutual surrender, is just the training we need to walk through this world—a world that wants to chew you up and spit you out—without the constant fear of getting the short end of the stick. Maybe we need to be formed in such a way that winning loses its glamour, that we can sacrifice the competition in favor of people. Maybe what we need, really, is to become a bunch of losers in a world that is being a torn apart by the competition to win. If we did that, maybe we’d be able to sleep a little easier at night, look our loved ones in the eyes, forgive and forget, and clap for the people around us.
I think that in a marriage of losers, a synergy happens and all of life can explode into a kind of rebellion that is brighter than the sun. The really good rebellions, the ones that last and make the world a better place, they are like that, aren’t they? They heal, they restore. They are big, and they shine like the sun. And, like the sun, their gravitational pull is almost irresistible.
Many therapists aren’t crazy about doing marital therapy. It’s complicated and messy, and it often feels out of control. In the worst case scenario, the therapist has front row seats to a regularly-scheduled prize fight. But I love to do marital therapy. Why? Maybe I enjoy the work because I keep one simple principle in mind: if marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to see which spouse is going to lose the most, and it needs to be a race that goes down to the wire.
When it comes to winning and losing, I think there are three kinds of marriages. In the first kind of marriage, both spouses are competing to win, and it’s a duel to the death. Husbands and wives are armed with a vast arsenal, ranging from fists, to words, to silence. These are the marriages that destroy. Spouses destroy each other, and, in the process, they destroy the peace of their children. In fact, the destruction is so complete that research tells us it is better for children to have divorced parents than warring parents. These marriages account for most of the fifty percent of marriages that fail, and then some. The second kind of marriage is ripe with winning and losing, but the roles are set, and the loser is always the same spouse. These are the truly abusive marriages, the ones in which one spouse dominates, the other submits, and in the process, both husband and wife are stripped of their dignity. These are the marriages of addicts and enablers, tyrants and slaves, and they may be the saddest marriages of all.
But there is a third kind of marriage. The third kind of marriage is not perfect, not even close. But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves. In these marriages, losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most. The marriage becomes a competition to see who can change in ways that are most healing to the other, to see who can give of themselves in ways that most increase the dignity and strength of the other. These marriages form people who can be small and humble and merciful and loving and peaceful.
And they are revolutionary, in the purest sense of the word.
Because we live in a culture in which losing is the enemy (except in Chicago, where Cubs fans have made it a way of life). We wake up to news stories about domestic disputes gone wrong. Really wrong. We go to workplaces where everyone is battling for the boss’s favor and the next promotion, or we stay at home where the battle for the Legos is just as fierce. Nightly, we watch the talking heads on the cable news networks, trying to win the battle of ideas, although sometimes they seem quite willing to settle for winning the battle of decibels. We fight to have the best stuff, in the best name brands, and when we finally look at each other at the end of the day, we fight, because we are trained to do nothing else. And, usually, we have been trained well. In the worst of cases, we grew up fighting for our very survival, both physically and emotionally. But even in the best of situations, we found ourselves trying to win the competition for our parents’ attention and approval, for our peers’ acceptance, and for the validating stamp of a world with one message: win. And, so, cultivating a marriage in which losing is the mutual norm becomes a radically counter-cultural act. To sit in the marital therapy room is to foment a rebellion.
In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution. It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It’s finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you’re right and they are wrong. It’s doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too—and loving them to the end anyway.
Maybe marriage, when it’s lived by two losers in a household culture of mutual surrender, is just the training we need to walk through this world—a world that wants to chew you up and spit you out—without the constant fear of getting the short end of the stick. Maybe we need to be formed in such a way that winning loses its glamour, that we can sacrifice the competition in favor of people. Maybe what we need, really, is to become a bunch of losers in a world that is being a torn apart by the competition to win. If we did that, maybe we’d be able to sleep a little easier at night, look our loved ones in the eyes, forgive and forget, and clap for the people around us.
I think that in a marriage of losers, a synergy happens and all of life can explode into a kind of rebellion that is brighter than the sun. The really good rebellions, the ones that last and make the world a better place, they are like that, aren’t they? They heal, they restore. They are big, and they shine like the sun. And, like the sun, their gravitational pull is almost irresistible.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sunday
We went to the Calvert Ward this morning. I took the familia with and we all enjoyed it. When I got my new calling I knew I'd need to travel and Pres. Sakai said to take the fam with from time to time. R and I both thought this would be an excellent idea. The kids were all nervous to go. Last night Hannah was begging me to bring Chelsea. She was afraid she would be shunned, or that they girls would throw tomatoes at her (she has a flare for drama). It turned out nothing like that though :) I really enjoyed visiting and meeting a lot of their girls. Testimony meeting was powerful and moving. I am always amazed and awed by the many wonderful strong people out there who are raising great families and doing their best to do the Lord's work. After while we were driving home the kids all said they had had a good time. Hannah was welcomed to YW and Sunday school and met some nice girls. I am excited for her to travel with me and have friends all over the stake, it will be so awesome for her at camp and other activities to have many girls she knows. Ethan said he made a friend and Lu said her classmates were funny and her teacher was so nice. They asked how often we had to go to other wards and I wasn't sure where they were going with it so I said I had to go from time to time but they didn't necessarily have to come every time because they could go to our ward with Dad. They all said "we want to come", E said if all the kids were as nice as Calverts he would love to meet lots of kids and even Han agreed that it was positive. I had no doubts, but am glad it went well. That's the beauty of the gospel, where ever you go you automatically have friends. Interestingly the two big kids both said they thought they got more out of their lessons this week, I wonder if they weren't as distracted since they were new? E said his teacher was really good and spent a lot more time on the lesson and less time talking and goofing around than his normal class.
Tonight we had a YCL meeting. Things are coming along for camp and I am excited for all our good plans. Today I felt good about my calling. It's been hard to figure it out, normally I have an idea of what to do in a calling, because I've seen others do it, I've gone to Primary, or YW or RS. With a stake calling it's more behind the scenes, at least for me it was. I didn't really know what was expected or how to go about it. Slowly I have been learning. I have many patient teachers and mentors. I am willing to do anything, I just didn't know what that was. I need to remember that as I train and visit. People want to know what is expected so they can try and do it. I think most people are willing and wanting to do a good job at whatever their callings are, they just don't always know what a good job looks like. I still have a lot lot lot to learn and but I am grateful for a good day.
Now I am home and we are all gathered in the living room watching Frozen Planet waiting for Mythbusters to start. It's nice to spend time relaxing together. I love my family.
This week R took a motorcycle class so he could get his license. He passed, of course, and now is ready to feel the wind in his hair (under his helmet) and hit the open road.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
busy girl
This little girl was very busy this weekend. Right after school on Friday we went to Calvert Cliffs so she could certify for camp. They hiked and built shelters and fires, identified constellations and poisonous plants, cooked outside and practiced first aid. We got home around 10pm.
This morning at 7: 15 she left for a volleyball tournament. They won one game, and had fun on the others :)
Then she went to Lu's end of season banquet at Nicollettis. Made two batches of blondies for the YW fundraiser (okay i did most of the work but she helped). The girls decided to have a bake sale for books to earn money to send to Jenna while she is still in Romania so that she can buy a bunch of books for the orphanage. They took orders last week and are delivering them tomorrow. Don't Hannah's look wonderful all wrapped up in a fancy box and wrapped in twine ( these are a few of my favorite things...humm a few bars please : ) )
Lastly this evening we went to the YW broadcast, which was wonderful. We had an ice cream social before hand. Pres Monson was wonderful, as were all the General YW leaders.
Now it's almost 11 and we are off to bed. Whew!
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