evening outing

Last night I went to book club, I hadn't been in a long time (like a year). In the morning I was at the playground and Monique was also there so we were pushing our kids on the swings  and chatting when the topic of book club came up.  I had actually read this months selection a couple years ago and liked it.  So we talked each other into going, it's  always good to have someone to commit to because by evening I usually talk myself out of going, either the dog is eating the trash, or the kids are cranky or R is gone or something.  Last night was no different but I had to pick her up and I was really glad.  It was so much fun.  I really enjoyed visiting with all the ladies, and talking about the book, and eating Debbie's yummy cookies :)  In the story Cece escapes her problems by reading.  One fun thing we had talked about was our early reading loves.  Baby-sitters club got several nods ( I have never read one).  Nancy Drew was  my gateway book.  Surprisingly Mary Higgins Clark was also a fav.  ( haven't read any of her books either, and knew they were popular but didn't know 10 year olds read them).  Can't wait for next month...if I go.

Last night as the last of the friends were leaving our party we had an interesting moment, a dad, one of our dearest friends, came to get his girls and wanted to talk with R.  Weird.  Men do that?  It was clear that it was going to be a private conversation, again..weird.  So they went to the formal dining room (a fancy word for the room we never sit in, but whose walls are painted a very nice red) to talk...can I say one more time weird. 

Then the last girls mom came, but we weren't quite done with "Soul Surfer" so we sat down at the kitchen table ( a fancy name for the table that is always sticky and covered with paint splotches and homework and shoes (please cover your shocked gasp at the disgusting thought of shoes on the table, I know it's appalling but I am over it) and were quietly chatting in semi-darkness.  She is the mother of 10 and is going back to school (almost done) for her RN and is maybe 10 years older than me.  Why have I felt old my whole life?  She said she was young and had time for another career and was looking forward to ....blah blah blah (read that nicely, she had lots of plans and things to look forward to and to accomplish) and I felt kind of envious and stuck and undecided.  What to do with  my life.  Shouldn't I not only know but be doing it now??

When everyone was gone, the debris cleaned up, the children tucked in and the lights turned off I tip- toed into our room and whispered "Honey, what did M want?"  A sleepy voice answered "mnphn".  So again, because I don't like to disturb a sleeper I whispered "HONEY! what did M want??"  He told me "to talk about his career."  Oh...boring. 

Then I lay awake.  Thinking (a dangerous past time I know)

R is a real get things done guy.  He knew what job he wanted when he was a boy and kept his eye towards that goal and has had his dream career (well he would have loved to be a pilot but bad eye sight made that impossible).  He's had 20 years doing technical, cutting edge, exciting, freedom saving work.  Now he is moving on to phase 2 of his 40 year dream career plan.  He is like that with everything.  He wants to ride a century and gets a bike and practices and signs up for one.  He wants to be a storm chaser and goes out and takes a HAM class and builds an 80 ft tower in the backyard and does it.  He is a doer. And I love and admire that about him.

....me on the other hand.  I had a dream, once, don't really remember what it was but I know it got derailed by the more important and wonderful responsibility of motherhood and now it's been 24 years and I am just in the middle of said important and wonderful responsibility and wouldn't change it but I'd like to do it and something.  The problem is any something I can think of takes too much time away from the the most important thing...and everything I can think to do that wouldn't take away pays little and is no fun, which is okay I can work at something no fun for a good cause (BYU tuition, flights to see the girls, a possible 2 Disney dream vacay) but that's not really the same thing is it??

I'd like to run a triathlon....but I can't put my face in the water without gagging and I hate to run.
I'd like to be a gourmet cook... but ingredients are expensive so I make top ramen.
Mom and Dad think I should write a book...but I don't have a story to tell.
I'd like to be a counselor or a midwife or a nurse...but my nights are full of homework and soccer practice and I am tired and the tuition we pay isn't for me right now.
I'd like to memorize the scriptures...but instead I know the tv schedule pretty well. 
I'd like to take an art class but then I wouldn't be free to sub (the little pay/ no fun something )


Do you see where I am going?  I am lacking direction and purpose and drive and my baseboards are dusty, only some of my husbands shirts are ironed and with all I sacrifice (cue small violin) my kids are still noisy and sometimes disobedient and think I do a bad job (ouch!)

Party Time

 Hannah's been very excited to plan her birthday party.  We have talked about it on and off most of the summer.  She wanted a "smores" theme and to swim.  We had planned to swim for 3 hours, come home and have dinner and a smore bar outside by the fire pit, open presents, play a game and then watch a movie.

 But the weather did not cooperate.  It was raining and storming. 
I kept hoping it would clear but about half an hour before the guests arrived I realized I'd better come up with a plan B.

 We moved the smore bar inside, and when the girls arrived Hannah gave them their "thank you for coming goodies" right away.  We had made shirts for each girl that said BFF and had marshmallows on a stick with happy faces on them.  The girls changed and then we were ready for some inside fun.

 bottom row: Ariel, Julia, Melanie, Chelsea

middle row: Hannah, Lu, Ally, Ellie, Bethany

top row: Ethan

The first thing we did was play a candy game.  I had a list of clues and they had to write down what candy they thought matched the clue.  For example evil laugh = snickers, or slippery digit = butterfinger. 

The next game was the kids had to put paper plates on their heads and draw a picture Hannah on top of the plate without looking . Then I collected the plates without them seeing and they voted for the best one.  Melanie won.  The kids voted by dropping a starburst on the plate they liked the best, which they thought was fun.

Then I divided them into two teams and put a bunch of ingredients onto the counter and let them create a cake.  They really thought that was fun.  While the cakes were baking I made dinner and they frolicked around the house (read: did each others hair).  Hannah chose Monte Cristo sandwiches for dinner, we severed a very nutritious side of soda and chips.   When dinner was over we played Lous Groups and opened gifts.  Hannah loved everything she got.  Next on the agenda was cake.  I served them a piece of each one and they judged their favorites.  Turns out both cakes were given a rating of "gross", however they loved making them. 

At this point I was running out of last minute ideas and turned on a movie, which they watched for 10 minutes and then ran upstairs to try on make up and make a lot of  noise.  Which was great.  At the end of the party we microwaved smores and said "Thank you for coming!"

So it rained the whole time and instead of some easy breezy hours at the pool with no clean up we had a lot of running and laughing and mess but we had a very happy birthday girl and a fun celebration. 

12 years old

 I spent a delightful few hours looking through some "old" pictures, dating back to the pre-blogging days.  It was so fun to see little Hannah and all the other kids.  It was fun to see R and I looking so young, I didn't realize we were so young.  Crazy. 

I chose a few of the fun ones to share today.  Tomorrow is Hannah's birthday! She will be 12, it's been a delightful 12 years & a hard 12 and they went soooo fast.

First photo is of Hannah, 3 years old, in "miss E-bon's" (Yvonne) ballet class.  Oh my goodness, she was so cute dancing on her toes, and spinning and doing little arabesques. 

 Here is Hannah and Ethan dressed in matching yellow jammies.  Han was so excited to be a big sister and was always so gentle and sweet to Bub and Lu both. 

We took a trip to Michigan one summer, we visited the farm and lake Michigan.  H has done a lot of travelling in her life and seen lots of sights.  She's been to at least 20 states, maybe more, I haven't counted.  Swam in 2 oceans been north and south and east and west in our great country. 

 Hannah's first trip to Disneyland.  So much fun.  She's been twice, and once to Disney World.  Hoping to take her again sometime in the next couple of years.

This is from Hannah's first day of 1st grade.  She has done really well in school.  For preschool we did a co-op with several friends and she also got to go to museum school which was terrific.  She's been to 4 different elementary schools, gave an unsuccessful go at home schooling and has been to one middle school.  She is an excellent reader, a good artist, quite musical, not so athletic, doesn't like math, enjoys drama & lunch but not riding the bus. 

Hannah is a good friend, has a fun sense of humour, is loyal and kind, doesn't like to do chores, is a night owl and a fashionista, likes movies and books, likes to go shopping, ride the metro and do some sightseeing.  She is a willing helper, loves babies, walks slowly, loves to do hair and to cook.  She is a good secret keeper, crafty and creative and a mermaid in the water.  She has a good testimony, enjoys torturing her brother, loves her niece and Reggie and is super excited to go into YW.   She is silly and goofy and wonderful.

Poor Hannah was a difficult baby.  Soon after her birth she got what we thought was a bad diaper rash.  It got worse and worse and got raised and bumpy and we soon learned it was a hemangioma.  It got very large and covered all under her diaper and part way up her back, it also went down one leg and onto her foot.  It was in her lung, spinal column and pelvis. We don't know if it still is or not but the visable parts are getting smaller and we hope the same thing is going on inside.  It got ulcerated and bleed and caused her terrible pain and anguish and as a result she screamed most of her first year and a half or so.  It was pretty awful.  She still has some issues from that and it may be a life long hardship for her. 

Once the pain was gone we had a delightful, busy, little girl on our hands..who kind of turned into a sassy, disobedient  but still delightful and precocious and cute, little girl.  Well,  really she was a challenge.  Opinionated and strong headed  we spent many hours on our knees praying for guidance, and tried lots of things, and were sometimes too hard on her and sometimes too easy and basically stumbled along, like parents do I suppose.  ( Each of the children have been easy or hard at different times and have kept me on my toes, and on my knees, and sometimes cowering under my covers,  ah the joys of motherhood. )  I have to say she is a real delight now. The last few years have been great.  She's grown up a lot and is mature and sweet and wants to do good.  We love her so much and have every day of her life.  I hope her strength of character and determination will stay with her and that she will always be herself and true to her inner beauty.  She has so many talents and strengths, it's a privilege to be her mother.  Happy Birthday little Muffin.  You are a joy

a new nephew

my little sister Em gave birth to her son this morning.  He is a cutie!! 
Now I have 5 nephews and 4 neices.  I can't wait until they are all together and can play.  ...someday.

sleep over

Lu has never had a sleep over friend, we are actually done with sleep overs as a rule.  However we do happily baby sit over night friends when their parents need it, and also happily send our kids off when we need it.  Different than a sleep over.  Anyway, tomorrow is our stake temple day.  R took the day off of work and I am looking forward to a great day together at the temple.  Hannah and Heidi are baby-sitting for us and my friend Liz asked if Izzy could share sitters with us.  We are happy to share and she came over tonight after mutual to spend the night as we are all leaving early in the morning.  The girls are bringing Erica, who is our Hannah's age.  I expect it will be a fun day for everyone and although E will be lone man the twins are awesome soccer players and I expect he'll get some good tips and ball time with them here :)

lazy summer days

This morning Han told me that "we never do anything fun" and all she does is work :(  Poor girl.  We spent the first 8 weeks of summer playing and now that all our guests are gone we are staying home and swimming and cleaning stuff.  R and I cleaned our garage and now he can put his car in it!  Exciting.  I am happy to have that off our list after two years.

 Our poor suffering children spending their afternoon at the pool with friends and books and drinks.